So I find my self with a void that needs filling. There is just an empty spot in my life. Yes I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful kids but there is just something missing. I want to have another baby. I have been trying now for 10 months and I am on fertility drugs called clomid. I have been on them for 3 months now and they have decided to up my dosage this third round. I have no clue what it will bring. I don’t know if the medicine will work. Things are so unknown when it comes to getting pregnant. So instead right now I am going another route.
I am going to get a puppy. Yep I am trying the next step to filling the void. It all started when our neighbor’s mom had her 6 puppies over there. The kids went out the door with Chris to fly a paper airplane. It took about 5 seconds for them to notice the neighbors out there with the puppies.
The kids ran over there and so I followed. The puppies were just so cute all in the yard playing around. It was a hot day so when I was standing there they came and got underneath me to cool off. I couldn’t help but fall in love with the puppies. Once I was told how much they were I knew we wouldn’t get one of those puppies. So on went the trying to convince Chris to go and get a puppy.
I searched online. I emailed people and gave them a call to see which puppies were available. I finally wore Chris down enough that he looked on the website and picked out a puppy that he liked the most. I emailed about her and got an email back that she was available. I was so thrilled that Chris picked out a dog. We went with in two days to see her.
Once we got to the RAL where the puppy was I could just feel the excitement not only from myself but from my kids. They were so excited to see all the puppies. We went back with a lady who was so sweet and tried to find our puppy we seen online. She found a little one that looked like her but it ended up not being her. So when they brought in the puppy we did see she was a lot bigger than we thought. She was perfect though. She was pretty calm for a 4 month old. The kids seemed to love her as much as me.
So after meeting her we decided that she belonged with us. We went and filled out an application for her. So it won’t be long till she is at home with us. It is not for sure that it will fill my void completely but I know it will help. I have so much love for her already. I can't wait to bring my Jan home.
Monday, June 09, 2008
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Do you know the real me?
Do you know who the real me is? I do and I like her. I am the girl who loves shooting guns, playing video games, watching action packed movies and just hanging with the guys. I feel the most comfortable wearing jeans and a T-shirt. Heck I am wearing Chris’s clothes most days. I like me and how I am.
Some girls just think that I am a slob or that I can’t dress. Sure I do can that stuff. Heck I have girly clothes but putting them on causes me so much pain and stress. I can never find something that looks nice together. If I do before I get out the darn door something happens and I get one part of my outfit messed up. Now if I was just wearing my normal T-shirt and jeans I wouldn’t give if it got messed up. I have been told that “oh you should dress up for your husband every once in a while.” I have done this but what I don’t see is why I need to. He fell in love with the girl I was and still am. I was the girl with the baggy pants and flannel shirts. Why should I make an effort to change who I am? I don’t want to change him so why should I change me?
I don’t understand the reason behind some women’s thoughts or actions. Why they think people have to look a certain way. Some women don’t think they can go out of the house with out makeup on? Why? I don’t know why, I am asking you? I go out of the house every day without any makeup at all. The only time I wear it is if I want to try and look extra sexy for my husband but I don’t even need to do that for him to be interested in me. I just wear it because I have it. Some girls say I need to try and make an effort to look sexy for my husband. Why I listen to these girls I don’t know. This isn’t me I am not the makeup wearing kind of person. I know these girls mean well but you know what I like me just the way I am.
Another thing is I am all tomboy, it is not just the fact I hate dressing up pretty and wearing makeup it is the fact I love guns and everything to do with them. Have you ever shot a gun it is fun as all get out. It is a great feeling to know you can protect yourself and your loved ones if anything at all were to happen. I love video games that have to do with shooting guns. Counter strike is my favorite. Movies with guns in them are awesome! I love the action packed movies with guns shooting all around people. My friends get so mad when their husbands sit around and play video games or watch these gory movies with blood in them. Have you ever tried it? Have you tried to sit and watch something your husband is interested in or played a video game he is interested in? I know I have and it make a heck of a difference in how you view things. Your husbands aren’t wasting their time they are unwinding. It is fun we should all do it. Not just the games, movies or going shooting with your husbands but finding something in common to share and so with him. Not something girly but something he likes. I find that this makes up for the fact that I don’t dress girly. I am sexy in his eyes because I have some of the same interests as he does. Isn’t that a great way to be me? Sharing what he loves?
I have found over the years I feel more comfortable around guys. Not because I love doing guy things but because they just don’t care how you dress, what you do or how you act. They are just so much easier to hang out with. They don’t want to go shopping which is another thing I am not fond of. They don’t want to go to chick flicks all the time which is what girls love. Ok I can do the occasional chick flick but dang it because I am a girl doesn’t mean I need to see girly movies all the time. On date nights we usually go and see something we both want to see. I do not torture him with a movie I know he is not going to like. So why would I have to change? I love the girl I am. He loves the girl I am. So know you know the real me. I love to get down a dirty with the boys and I hate girly clothes. I will never be the girly girl, I will forever be the tomboy.
Some girls just think that I am a slob or that I can’t dress. Sure I do can that stuff. Heck I have girly clothes but putting them on causes me so much pain and stress. I can never find something that looks nice together. If I do before I get out the darn door something happens and I get one part of my outfit messed up. Now if I was just wearing my normal T-shirt and jeans I wouldn’t give if it got messed up. I have been told that “oh you should dress up for your husband every once in a while.” I have done this but what I don’t see is why I need to. He fell in love with the girl I was and still am. I was the girl with the baggy pants and flannel shirts. Why should I make an effort to change who I am? I don’t want to change him so why should I change me?
I don’t understand the reason behind some women’s thoughts or actions. Why they think people have to look a certain way. Some women don’t think they can go out of the house with out makeup on? Why? I don’t know why, I am asking you? I go out of the house every day without any makeup at all. The only time I wear it is if I want to try and look extra sexy for my husband but I don’t even need to do that for him to be interested in me. I just wear it because I have it. Some girls say I need to try and make an effort to look sexy for my husband. Why I listen to these girls I don’t know. This isn’t me I am not the makeup wearing kind of person. I know these girls mean well but you know what I like me just the way I am.
Another thing is I am all tomboy, it is not just the fact I hate dressing up pretty and wearing makeup it is the fact I love guns and everything to do with them. Have you ever shot a gun it is fun as all get out. It is a great feeling to know you can protect yourself and your loved ones if anything at all were to happen. I love video games that have to do with shooting guns. Counter strike is my favorite. Movies with guns in them are awesome! I love the action packed movies with guns shooting all around people. My friends get so mad when their husbands sit around and play video games or watch these gory movies with blood in them. Have you ever tried it? Have you tried to sit and watch something your husband is interested in or played a video game he is interested in? I know I have and it make a heck of a difference in how you view things. Your husbands aren’t wasting their time they are unwinding. It is fun we should all do it. Not just the games, movies or going shooting with your husbands but finding something in common to share and so with him. Not something girly but something he likes. I find that this makes up for the fact that I don’t dress girly. I am sexy in his eyes because I have some of the same interests as he does. Isn’t that a great way to be me? Sharing what he loves?
I have found over the years I feel more comfortable around guys. Not because I love doing guy things but because they just don’t care how you dress, what you do or how you act. They are just so much easier to hang out with. They don’t want to go shopping which is another thing I am not fond of. They don’t want to go to chick flicks all the time which is what girls love. Ok I can do the occasional chick flick but dang it because I am a girl doesn’t mean I need to see girly movies all the time. On date nights we usually go and see something we both want to see. I do not torture him with a movie I know he is not going to like. So why would I have to change? I love the girl I am. He loves the girl I am. So know you know the real me. I love to get down a dirty with the boys and I hate girly clothes. I will never be the girly girl, I will forever be the tomboy.
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